How To Love When Someone We Love Messes Up Big Time Duty Neglected 2 Samuel 19:1-8 How To Love When Someone We Love Messes Up Big Time The template for loving properly is found in . 1 John 4:16/ Psalm 136:26/ Psalm 86:13 There are four levels of sin and foolishness. The sins and mistakes of The sins and weaknesses we with The sins and mistakes we The sins and errors we in Each one calls for a different response. the unaware and foolish. Romans 7:7/ Leviticus 4/ 1 Timothy 1:13/ Luke 10:25-37/ Matthew 7:1-6 those who are weak and struggling. Romans 7:15-25/ Isaiah 42:3/ Isaiah 35:3/ Galatians 6:1-2/ 1 Thessalonians 5:14 First , then those who continually make excuses. James 1:13-15 & 1 Samuel 15:19-23/ Isaiah 5:20-21 Revelation 3:14-22 & Hebrews 12:6/ 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Titus 3:10 and let do its work when someone sets up camp. Romans 1:18-32/ 2 Kings 17/ Luke 15:11-32/ 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 The best way to connect with us is the Connection Card in the bulletin. For the Digital Bulletin, visit myncc.info. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Support Our Ministry If you found this message beneficial and you would like to help continue our ministries, we would be grateful for your support. Go to northcoastchurch.com/give ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Life Group Study Questions For the week of September 25, 2022 GETTING TO KNOW YOU What’s your favorite way to spend a day off with no responsibility? How would you rate yourself as driver on a 1 to 10 scale, 10 being excellent? What rating do you think the person who drives with you the most would give you? This weekend we heard how important it is to be able to speak the right way into someone’s life who is headed down the wrong path. When it comes to engaging someone in this way, we each end up at different places on the spectrum— from complete avoidance, thinking “get me out of here,” to being too harsh, resembling a “bull in a China shop.” Where might you typically put yourself on the spectrum below? Complete Avoidance ————————————– Too Harsh Quick Review: Looking back at your notes from this week’s teaching, was there anything you heard for the first time or something that caught your attention, challenged, or confused you? DIGGING DEEPER We know we all make mistakes. Yet, as we heard from this weekend’s message, there are times we need to move toward someone to help them see the issue. God has put others in our lives, and us in theirs, to help each other avoid going down the wrong path. What key foundations and motivations does Ephesians 4:29-32 speak to you about when it comes to these kinds of situations? Ephesians 4:29-32 New International Version (NIV) 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Have you ever had someone effectively point out an issue you need to deal with? If so, what did they do that helped you hear what they were saying? Did you see any characteristics in them similar to what Ephesians 4 is referring to? Having a difficult conversation with someone you love isn’t easy. All too often we don’t know what to say, how to start or even what our own issues are that we may also be bringing to the table that could be clouding our judgment. What additional principles do we learn from the proverbs below that can help promote a positive result in approaching difficult conversations? Proverbs 18:13 New International Version (NIV) 13 To answer before listening— that is folly and shame. Proverbs 17:19 New International Version (NIV) 19 Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin; whoever builds a high gate invites destruction. Proverbs 12:18 New International Version (NIV) 18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 26:4 New International Version (NIV) 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Proverbs 10:19 New International Version (NIV) 19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. Proverbs 28:23 New International Version (NIV) 23 Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue. Proverbs 15:22-23 New International Version (NIV) 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. 23 A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! Speaking into someone’s life is not about just pointing out the issue but about implementing the principles and guidelines God has given for us to help others receive what we say and make a change. Which one or two verses are important for you to remember when having significant conversations and relating to others in general? Below are more specific steps and guidelines that are helpful to think through when you need to engage in the types of conversations we saw in this week’s message. Which proverbs above apply to what you see in these guidelines below? Which guideline do you think most people miss? Guidelines that will help you in significant conversations: Check yourself. Ask: Is there anything clouding my judgment in this situation? Am I tired, defensive or overly emotional? Do I need to pause for a bit to get perspective or seek wise counsel? Pray and open my heart and mind to them. Choose the right time. When and where you meet matters. Start the conversation positively. If you can’t, you may not be ready to have the conversation. Ask questions, get the facts and listen before you speak. Consider the situation from their perspective. Reflect on what you hear even if you don’t agree. “Here’s what I am hearing you say. Is that accurate?” Be honest, have a goal in mind, and be flexible. Brainstorm solutions together if possible. TAKING IT HOME Looking back at this week’s message and study, what’s most important for you to remember? PRAYER REQUESTS Do you have any prayer requests regarding this weekend’s message or for you personally? TIPS ON GROUP PRAYER Prayer is an important part of being in Life Group. Over the years, we've found that group prayer goes better when we follow three simple guidelines. WE PRAY FOR ONE TOPIC AT A TIME - Anyone in the group is free to introduce a prayer request, either before prayer begins or during the prayer time. Once a topic is introduced, the group focuses on that request alone. Once it's covered, the group moves on to the next topic. PRAY MORE THAN ONCE - Because the group is focusing on one topic at a time, each person is encouraged to pray several times during the prayer time for those topics they feel most led to pray about. No one is required to pray. WE KEEP OUR PRAYERS SHORT AND SIMPLE - Group prayer goes better when members keep their prayers short and to the point. When someone prays for a long time, it's hard for the other members to stay focused and long prayers tend to intimidate those who are just learning to pray out loud in a group. No one is required to pray out loud. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ NORTH COAST MEN’S CONFERENCE Join us Friday evening, October 28 & Saturday morning, October 29, for the second North Coast Men’s Conference held at the Vista Campus! Come enjoy teaching led by pastors Chris Brown and Ricky Jenkins, along with worship, activities and tourneys! Register at northcoastchurch.com/mens-conference/. WOMEN’S GATHERING Join us Monday, October 17, 6-9pm at the Vista Campus and be equipped to lead no matter what role you serve in — as a student, single woman, wife, mom or in the marketplace. Visit northcoastchurch.com/womens-gathering-event/.