Ephesians: Finding Our True Identity - 12

God’s Blueprint For Marriage: Love and Respect

By Pastor Ed Turley, October 20, 2024

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33 (NIV)

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NIV)

Big Idea: A Husband’s love motivates his wife’s respect and a Wife’s respect motivates her husband’s love.

To Embrace God’s Blueprint For Marriage:

1. Begin With Serving Each Other

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45 (NIV)

"You call me ‘Teacher’ and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. John 13:13-15 (NIV)

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV)

Notes: _________________________________________________________________

2. Wives Respect Your Husband’s Leadership

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 (NLT2)

  • In the bedroom a husband & wife have equal authority

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (NIV)

  • Respect Wins Husbands Over

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.
1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT2)

Notes: ___________________________________________________

3. Husbands Love Your Wife Sacrificially

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27 (NIV)

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:28-32 (NIV)

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) Remember Verse

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT2)

Notes: _________________________________________________________________

“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. Enjoy life with your wife…” Ecclesiastes 9:7-9a (NIV)

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes:

  • Physical Touch
  • Encouraging Words
  • Gift Giving
  • Quality Time
  • Acts of Service

My Next Right Step, I Will:

  • Serve my spouse
  • Plan a date night with my spouse
  • Discover both love languages

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Talk It Over

Small Group Discussion Guide: God’s Blueprint for Marriage: Love and Respect

Introduction: Welcome to our small group discussion! Today, we will dive deeper into the message from Ephesians 5:25-33 on God’s blueprint for marriage, focusing on love,respect, and serving one another. This discussion is meant to help us reflect on the biblical principles shared and how we can apply them to our marriages and relationships.

Opening Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and the example of love and respect You have given us through Christ. Open our hearts and minds today as we discuss Your Word. Help us to grow in love and respect for one another and guide us to reflect Christ in our relationships. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Icebreaker: Share a time when you felt particularly loved or respected by a family member.
How did it impact you?

Discussion Questions:

1. Begin with Serving Each Other

Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:21, Mark 10:45, John 13:13-15

How does serving one another out of reverence for Christ impact a marriage or relationship?

Why is mutual submission important in the context of a healthy marriage?

Jesus set an example of service by washing His disciples’ feet. What are some practical ways we can serve our spouse or partner in everyday life?

How has adopting a servant-hearted attitude has changed or could change your relationship. Share one specific way you plan to serve your spouse or partner this week.

**2. Wives Respect Your Husband’s Leadership **

Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-2

Why is respect so crucial in marriage? How does a wife’s respect motivate her husband’s love, according to the sermon?

What challenges do you think wives face when trying to respect their husbands? How can a wife show respect in both words and actions, even when it is difficult?

Activity:

  • Wives, reflect on specific ways you can demonstrate respect to your husband.
  • Husbands, share with the group how you feel respected by your spouse.
  • Encourage one another to grow in this area.

3. Husbands Love Your Wives Sacrificially

Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife “as Christ loved the church”? How does sacrificial love impact the health of a marriage?

Husbands, what are some challenges you face in loving your wife sacrificially? How can you demonstrate love that is both tender and selfless?

Husbands, share one specific way you can show sacrificial love to your wife this week.

Wives, share how you feel loved by your spouse, and offer encouragement in areas where growth is needed.

Read Philippians 2:1-5

How does the attitude of Christ in this passage connect to mutual submission and serving in marriage? How can both spouses live out this humility toward one another?

Ecclesiastes 9:7-9: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love…”

How can we cultivate joy and enjoyment in our marriages?

What does it look like to build a marriage that reflects both love and respect while enjoying life together?

Encouragement: Spend time this week praying for your spouse or partner, asking God to help you love and respect them more fully in the way He has designed.

Family Prayer #4:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the gift of marriage and for providing us with a beautiful blueprint to follow. We humbly come before You, acknowledging our need for Your help and guidance in our relationships. Lord, give us hearts that seek to serve one another, always looking for ways to bring joy, encouragement, and blessing into each other’s lives. Teach us to appreciate and honor the unique roles You’ve given us, and help us to approach each day with respect, humility, and grace.

Fill us with Your love so that we may love sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. Help us to nurture, cherish, and uplift one another in both word and action. Father, we recognize that both love and respect are essential in our marriages, and some of us are yearning for change and renewal. We ask for Your Holy Spirit to soften our hearts, break through any barriers, and begin a transformation that will restore and renew our marriages.

May our marriages reflect Your love and grace, setting a godly example for our children and those around us. Let them see the beauty of Your love through how we love and respect one another.

We pray all of this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.