When the Mystery Becomes Messy When Real Life Collides with Biblical Truth What is the biblical idea of marriage? Stott summarizes it well: Marriage is an exclusive heterosexual covenant between one man and one woman, ordained and sealed by God, preceded by the leaving of parents, consummated in sexual union, issuing in a permanent mutually supportive partnership, and normally crowned with the gift of children. (Involvement,163) Marriage is to be permanent, sacred, intimate, mutual, and exclusive. 1. What if your spouse/gf/bf sins against you? What is the Key? **Forgiveness ** Ephesians 4:32 **I will not hold it against you I will not bring it up again I will ask God for grace in my heart to do the first 2. ** Real forgiveness deals with the sin. Stop saying it is ok, no big deal. CALL IT SIN. 2. What about Porn? Emotional, mental, physical abuse? Violence, alcohol, drugs, etc. Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 19:8–9 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 3. How do I deal with Bitterness? Forgive Pray for offender to become a follower of Christ, God to change their life 4. What are the ingredients for a great marriage? Mutual Submission Honor/Respect Love 5. How much will it take for a marriage to be successful? vs. 31 100% Leave and Cleave 6. What if I am single? 1 Corinthians 7:7–9 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. Date only Christians Date only faithful Christians Resist Temptation 1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 7. Should I marry an unbeliever? 1 Corinthians 6:18–20 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 8. Can I remarry? Do I have to remarry? Biblical Divorce = Biblical Remarriage Matthew 5:32 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matthew 19:9 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 1 Corinthians 7:1–15 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 9. What I didn’t choose a Biblical option? Confess sin Repent. Stay in the marriage you are in. 1 John 1:9 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Spiritual Filled Family - Husbands Ephesians 5:22-33 Marriage is to be permanent, sacred, Christ-centered, intimate, mutual, and exclusive. Wives are to Follow/Submit to their Husband’s Loving Leadership Wives are to Honor their Husbands by demonstrating their respect. Keys Wife – Support & Honor Your Husband through Respect 5:22-24 Husband – Cherish & Honor Your Wife through True Love 5:25-27 Husbands are to Biblically Love and Honor their Wives As Spiritual Leaders As Spiritual Examples What Does that Love Look Like? Sacrificial Sanctifying Nourishing Satisfying Witnessing