Main Idea || Christians use words that put courage back into each other’s souls. “It is far better to be known and loved than it is to be followed, tweeted, and applauded.” Sauls, Scott. Irresistible Faith Jesus gave us a new command with power to ourselves to the world. John 13:35 [NLT] 34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” We need new patterns, practices, and postures that help us break the cycle passed down to us from Eden. Old way to be human: Isolated & lonely. Our Designer’s early WARNING: It is good to be alone. Genesis 1:27,31 [NLT] 27 So God created human beings* in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 31 Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! Genesis 2:18,22-25 [NLT] 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Both Paul & Jesus recognized it’s not good to be alone, either – each became deeply tethered to others, nurturing and enjoying an abundance of friends ( both men & women. ) Our secrets, sin, & shame made us fearful . Genesis 3:6–10 (NLT) 6…Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. 8When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” Fearful hiders make excuses & shift blame. This theme of deflecting, blaming, and hiding has remained with us since Eden. When you were joined to Jesus (by faith) He joined you into a community of . Romans 5:20 Psalms 103:8 God is above all gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love. We’re stuck in patterns of self- & self- . We’re chameleons and “Chameleon Christians” are lonely. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. ~ C. S. Lewis Our fear of criticism & shame over failure & flaws. One simple practice: Speak specific that make souls stronger. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) 15Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Choose kindness over criticism. Give the benefit of the doubt. Building each other up. Let love be genuine. . . . Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. . . . Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. . . . Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. – PAUL THE APOSTLE (Romans 12:9-16) CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION 1. Often the surface appearance of our lives presents a more “connected, relationally full, emotionally satisfying picture” than the reality of our lives. How is this true in your life? Do you see any way social media and technology contribute to this? 2. Is there any way you’ve ever been intentional about nurturing healthy relationships and fighting loneliness in your life? 3. We all can be chameleons, changing to conform to different social situations and to protect ourselves. How or when does your “human chameleon” show up? What have been the consequences in your life? 4. If we all chose kindness over criticism and giving one another the benefit of the doubt over assuming the worst, what kind of difference do you think this would make? 5. Affirming & encouraging words “turn down the volume on shame” and “turn up the volume on grace” and “put courage back into my soul”. If you’d be willing to practice “speaking the truth in love” now with your group, lets take turns offering a word of encouragement, or appreciation or affirmation.