New Marriage Contrast (10/12)

A New Way To Be Human

By Pastor Dan Williams, May 15, 2022

Main Idea || Our marriage relationship is designed to shine as a bright & attractive reflection of Jesus’ humble self-giving love.


New practice of contrasting marriage : giving up your control & your life.

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT) 21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

  • Wives selflessly give up .

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord…24 As the church submits to Christ,…”

  • Husbands selflessly give up their .

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…

The old problem of marriage : self-

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (Vv 4–5)

Self-centeredness by its very character makes you blind to your own — while being hypersensitive, offended, and angered by that of others.

But the gospel, brought home to your heart by the Spirit, can make you happy enough to be humble.

Two self-centered focuses slow poisoning our marriages?

  • My individual & .

New power for contrasting marriage : the self- love of Jesus.

Ephesians 5:2 (NLT) Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. 2 Corinthians 5:15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

The Christian principle that needs to be at work is — in Jesus your needs are being met so that you don’t look at your spouse as your savior.

New purpose for our contrasting marriage — reflecting Jesus & His church.

Ephesians 5:31-32 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”* 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

  • Wives illustrate the Church's submissive response to Jesus.

24 As the church submits to Christ, ...

  • Husbands illustrate the self-sacrificing love of Jesus' love.

25 …as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

Where could we start?

  • Seek humility.
  • Seek forgiveness.
  • Seek help.

CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION:

1. If you’re married, do you remember why you got married or even what your expectations for marriage were?

2. Which of these seems more challenging for expressing love in a marriage: willingness to give up control or a willingness to give up one’s own life?

3. How have you or someone you know struggled with the self-centeredness generated by prioritizing one’s own individual happiness or woundedness?  

4. Which of these Christian principles seems to stir in you the most Spirit-generated selflessness?“

a. Don’t think less of yourself or more of yourself but think of yourself less.”“

b. In Jesus your needs are being met so that you don’t look at your spouse as your savior.”

c. “Self-centeredness by its very character makes you blind to your own — while being hypersensitive, offended, and angered by that of others. But the gospel, brought home to your heart by the Spirit, can make you happy enough to be humble.”

5. Which of these 3 responses might be the best place for you to start seeing more transformation in your life or marriage?  

a. Seek humility.

b. Seek forgiveness.

c. Seek help.