Red Flags in Relationship

Miaiah Irmler

I King 18:1-19 NKJV

I King 17:1 And Elijah the Tishbite, of the inhabitants of Gilead, said to Ahab, “As the Lord God of Israel lives, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, except at my word.”

1 And it came to pass after many days that the word of the Lord came to Elijah, in the third year, saying, “Go, present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the earth.” 2 So Elijah went to present himself to Ahab; and there was a severe famine in Samaria. 3 And Ahab had called Obadiah, who was in charge of his house. (Now Obadiah feared the Lord greatly. 4 For so it was, while Jezebel [b]massacred the prophets of the Lord, that Obadiah had taken one hundred prophets and hidden them, fifty to a cave, and had fed them with bread and water.) 5 And Ahab had said to Obadiah, “Go into the land to all the springs of water and to all the brooks; perhaps we may find grass to keep the horses and mules alive, so that we will not have to kill any livestock.” 6 So they divided the land between them to explore it; Ahab went one way by himself, and Obadiah went another way by himself. 7 Now as Obadiah was on his way, suddenly Elijah met him; and he recognized him, and fell on his face, and said, “Is that you, my lord Elijah?” 8 And he answered him, “It is I. Go, tell your master, ‘Elijah is here.’ ” 9 So he said, “How have I sinned, that you are delivering your servant into the hand of Ahab, to kill me? 10 As the Lord your God lives, there is no nation or kingdom where my master has not sent someone to hunt for you; and when they said, ‘He is not here,’ he took an oath from the kingdom or nation that they could not find you. 11 And now you say, ‘Go, tell your master, “Elijah is here” ’! 12 And it shall come to pass, as soon as I am gone from you, that the Spirit of the Lord will carry you to a place I do not know; so when I go and tell Ahab, and he cannot find you, he will kill me. But I your servant have feared the Lord from my youth. 13 Was it not reported to my lord what I did when Jezebel killed the prophets of the Lord, how I hid one hundred men of the Lord’s prophets, fifty to a cave, and fed them with bread and water? 14 And now you say, ‘Go, tell your master, “Elijah is here.” ’ He will kill me!” 15 Then Elijah said, “As the Lord of hosts lives, before whom I stand, I will surely present myself to him today.” 16 So Obadiah went to meet Ahab, and told him; and Ahab went to meet Elijah. 17 Then it happened, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said to him, “Is that you, O troubler of Israel?” 18 And he answered, “I have not troubled Israel, but you and your father’s house have, in that you have forsaken the commandments of the Lord and have followed the Baals. 19 Now therefore, send and gather all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”

Key Thought: It’s hard to flourish relationally when you are fighting spiritually.

Happy Couples Know the Red Flags in Relationships.

Illustration: Red Flags are used as a warning to others. In maritime days when you saw a ship flying a red flag it meant it was willing to fight to the death.

Question: Why can’t we talk about date night, dinner at home, and him take care of the kids more… Similar symptoms but different sickness.

The Symptoms is Not the Sickness - vs. 17

17 Then it happened, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said to him, “Is that you, O troubler of Israel?”

Note: The sickness is connected to the symptoms. It’s all connected.

Note: Physically can affect me emotionally. Emotionally can affect me spiritually. Spiritually can affect me mentally.

It’s easier to connect with them physically than it is emotionally.

Remember: There can be no cure if you do not know the cause.

Remember: Weak men weaken countries.

: You may not be in charge of a country but you are in charge as a couple.

Genesis 3:16 And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.

without principles is destructive to anyone near it.

13 Was it not reported to my lord what I did when Jezebel killed the prophets of the Lord, how I hid one hundred men of the Lord’s prophets, fifty to a cave, and fed them with bread and water?

Remember: Jezebel makes bad things happen and Ahab lets bad things happen.

The can’t take you to hell but he will do everything he can to keep you from living for Heaven.

Don’t be oblivious to the obvious

Why is it so easy to see other peoples problems but so hard to see our own

Weak men attract weakness and repel strength.

The only strength you attract are the ones that want to use you.

Question: What was it about Ahab that attracted Jezebel to him?

Remember: There are people that are with you but not to help you.

What you will dominate you.

Remember: Just because you love me doesn’t mean you get to control me.

Find the Source to Stop the Spread vs. 18

18 And he answered, “I have not troubled Israel, but you and your father’s house have, in that you have forsaken the commandments of the Lord and have followed the Baals.

Quote: Truth without love is mean, love without truth is meaningless, truth in love is medicine. ~Jimmy Evans

Elijah does not confront Jezebel but Ahab

Culture may not hold men accountable but God still does

Men need .

Otherwise men turn to apathy Ahab did the forsaking and following.

In your vows forsaking all others I follow you.

If they won’t listen to God don’t think they will to you.

We don’t dream about being perfect for someone we dream about marrying the perfect someone.

Can you only receive truth if it’s a truth you agree with?

Note: Ahab didn’t just go three years without water; he went three years without hearing from Elijah.

Note: More than you need water to refresh the relationship you need to hear a word from God on how to restore your relationship.

Principles - are the truths you choose to live by. What you hear and what you accept as truth. We don’t build our life on trends but truth. Viral does not mean valuable.

Sola Scriptura - By scripture only (The bible is the supreme court that we take all arguments to.)

Values - Things that are the most important to you. Proclaimed and prioritized values.

Standards - The least that you allow. Standards are the floor not the ceiling. Not what you want to have but what you have to have.

The Healing is in Their Hands vs. 1 & 19

1 And it came to pass after many days that the word of the Lord came to Elijah, in the third year, saying, “Go, present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the earth.”

Question: Jezebel is more influential but who does Elijah keep pushing to influence?

Remember: You have more power than you realize.

19 Now therefore, send and gather all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”

Growth requires correction and a lot of that should be .

Christ came so that our past can be forgiven Christ came so that our future can be secure Christ came so that our present can be made new

It’s not events that are to blame for your relationship problems but the environments.

Mount Carmel had an old altar that had been torn down.

Stats: Divorce rates drop 70% in couples who attend regularly.

Remember: You are not flourishing relationally because you are fighting spiritually.

Take Away:

We can have similar sickness but experience different symptoms.