Beyond Silence and Containment: An Honest Conversation about Sex If you’re new to Lifpoint | Worthington, take 30 seconds to fill out our Welcome Card! Have a question about today's message? Ask it here. Song of Solomon 3:1–5 (ESV) On my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not. I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but found him not. The watchmen found me as they went about in the city. “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her who conceived me. I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Introduction Song of Songs refuses to shy away from physical intimacy. We have all been shaped by outside voices and experiences regarding sexuality. The goal today is not condemnation, but looking at the Architect's design for healing. God is not afraid of your story, questions, pain, or anger. Do Not Stir Up Love The phrase “do not awaken love” is repeated three times in this book. Love is personified as an active, living force that can be awakened. There is something immensely powerful and deeply mysterious about sexual intimacy. Sex has a unique ability to become intertwined with our identity. Past Church Strategies The Strategy of Silence Treating sex as a private or taboo subject. Leaves people navigating high-stakes sexuality in complete isolation. Silence combined with secrecy often breeds shame. The Strategy of Containment Aimed to build a fence around the mystery to prevent pain. Reduced the holistic conversation to maintaining a physical commodity. Using object lessons accidentally taught that a person's soul was transactional. The shadow side: Once a boundary is crossed, your currency feels spent. Have a question or pushback on this? Ask it here. The Architect's Design The original design in Genesis 2 modeled total vulnerability with no shame. God's sexual ethic is not a list of arbitrary rules. Marriage is designed to be a living picture of God's permanent, relentless covenant. Intimacy is a sacred language meant to tell the truth about His love. We fall short because none of us have told that story perfectly. Have a question or pushback on this? Ask it here. The Better Story Jesus did not bring a new measuring stick; He came to fulfill the covenant. God specializes in restoring ruins and making broken things whole. Jesus nailed our sexual brokenness and the weight of our shame to the cross. In the Gospel, there is no such thing as “ruined goods,” only redeemed creation. As always, if you'd like to talk more with me about anything we discussed, you can sign up for meeting time. If you have any questions from the message today, send them here and I'll follow up!