Good Sex

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Song of Solomon 4:7–5:1 (ESV) “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Come with me from Lebanon, my bride; come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the peak of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the dens of lions, from the mountains of leopards. You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! Your lips drip nectar, my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue; the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed. Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all choicest fruits, henna with nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all choice spices—a garden fountain, a well of living water, and flowing streams from Lebanon. Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits. I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk. Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!”

What is “Good Sex”

• The Bible does not blush; God created intimacy for our mutual pleasure and enjoyment.
• The garden imagery points back to Eden and the Hebrew word Tov, which simply means good.
• Yadah is the biblical word for “knowing” someone through deep, relational experience.
• We must shift our vocabulary from biological performance to spiritual alignment.

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Cultivating the Garden

• Good sex isn’t a state you achieve; it is a garden you cultivate.
  

Be Gardeners

• We must start with our posture, not our practices.
• The daily work of a marriage requires taking a completely selfless approach toward your spouse.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” - Philippians 2:3

Consider the Season

• Intimacy operates differently in the blooming energy of spring versus the deep maturity of autumn.
• The goal isn't to recreate year one, but to learn how your spouse has changed.
  

Consult Help

• Hitting a wall is not a sign of failure; sometimes you need an arborist.
• Seeking out counseling or medical assistance is a profoundly courageous act.

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The Gospel of Being Known

• Human intimacy is ultimately a breathtaking pointer to the Real Thing.
• For singles or those who are widowed, the ache for connection is a holy hunger meant for God.
• The Gospel is the story of God coming to us in our brokenness to cover us with grace.
• Finding identity in the Creator frees us from the pressure to perform.
  

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